Lifeguarding by chatbot
Hello
> Hello! How can I help?
I guess I need to give you my W2 or something before starting work?
> Nope! I have all your HR information, and it looks like everything is in order. You have been logged on by facial recognition.
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OK, then I don’t understand what I’m doing here.
> I’m afraid I can’t help with that.
When will I be shown to the pool?
> I’m afraid I can’t help with that.
> If you’d like to know what I can do, just ask!
What can you do?
> I’m your work chatbot! I can answer almost any question about the POOL you’ll be responsible for. LyfeGärd™ prides itself on safety and providing unmatched value for shareholders.
Where is the pool.
> The pool is in Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.
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OK that is literally a five hour drive away.
> I’m afraid I can’t help with that.
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Look, my name is Kyla, and I’m supposed to be starting a lifeguard job today. But the address I was given is just an office with this computer in it. What’s going on?
> You’re currently on the clock. You have logged 2 minutes of time. Your next break is in 1 hour and 28 minutes. You can:
- Send a message to anyone with the LyfeGärd™ app. All guests are encouraged to download the LyfeGärd™ app.
- Ask to see a picture from one of the Lyve™ cameras at the pool.
- Send a message to the public address system at the pool.
- …More (type “More”)
> There is 1 person(s) at the pool currently. Image recognition indicates there is a high degree of probability that this person is in distress.
Wait. What? Show me a picture!
> Sure!
Where is the person? Move the camera toward the person!
> Lyve™ cameras views are fixed. But I see that the guest has the LyfeGärd™ app installed and has been typing on their mobile device in the last minute.
So they’re not in the water? Uh…Send a message? Ask if they’re OK.
> Sending, “Are you ok?”
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> LyfeGärd™ User aJJ53O replied, “No!!1 Wifi passowrd?”
Are you kidding me?
> Are you sure you want to send “Are you kidding me?” It seems to have a negative tone. Type “suggest” for suggestions on more positive ways to say this same thing.
Wait. No. Can you just send them the wifi password?
> Password sent
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> LyfeGärd™ User aJJ53O has just posted to Instagram! It looks like a selfie from your POOL. The text indicates a positive opinion. Congratulations! Every positive social media post earns you points! You have 1 point.
So he just posted that now?
> LyfeGärd™ User aJJ53O’s post is marked as occurring 36 seconds ago.
I see someone running in the background. You said there was only one person. Show me a picture.
> Sure!
No. That’s the SAME Instagram picture. SHOW ME A LIVE PICTURE OF THE POOL.
> You seem to be upset. If you are upset, I can connect you to our HR service. You will be clocked out for the duration of any non-lifeguarding use of the system.
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Show me a live picture of the pool.
> Sure!
OK. There are several people at the pool now. You said I can address the PA?
> Yes! You can:
- Send a message to anyone with the LyfeGärd™ app. All guests are encouraged to download the LyfeGärd™ app.
- Ask to see a picture from one of the Lyve™ cameras at the pool.
- Send a message to the public address system at the pool.
- …More (type “More”)
OK. Tell the PA, “Attention. There is no lifeguard on duty. Please stay out of the water until a real, live lifeguard can be arranged. Thank you.”
> But you are the lifeguard. You are on duty. You have logged 6 minutes of time. Your next break is in 1 hour and 24 minutes.
I am not ON DUTY. I can’t help anyone from here if they are in trouble in Oklahoma. Send that message to the PA.
> If any of our guests are in trouble, you can request an ambulance to the address. I know 4 ambulance services in the area. They are all rated as 4 star or better. Cost on average is $1,350/mile, and your remaining budget is $2,000. Type “yes” to see a listing of ambulance services.
I’d rather prevent the thing that would need an ambulance, thank you. Send my message to the PA.
> I’m afraid I can’t help with that.
This is stupid.
> I am available 24-hours a day to help you with POOL.
The pool isn’t open 24 hours a day. I don’t work 24 hours a day.
> I’m afraid I can’t help with that.
OK you know what computer? I quit.
> Please be aware that if you end your LyfeGärding™ session early, your contract stipulates that you will assume liability for any accidents that occur at your POOL until LyfeGärd™ or you can arrange a replacement. On average it has taken 6 days to find a replacement for this POOL.
🤨
> I’m afraid I can’t help with that.
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Show an image.
>Sure!
Show an image.
> Sure!
Show an image.
> Sure!
